…and that’s ok.
Tell me I'm not the only one who talks to friends, family, coaches, colleges, strangers and pets, and finds themselves rambling on and on about the same old incidents.
He said this…
I did that…
This happened…
I’m feeling…
By continually talking about it, what are we after?
What are we hoping to achieve?
Have you considered the answer to be:
Permission.
We want permission to feel, think and act as we do. For it to be ok.
We thrive with permission from others.
Interestingly, we can also often hold back from GIVING permission to others.
Sometimes we find these stories circling in our mind, over and over, we beat ourselves up continually and can't get past it.
Until we give ourselves and others permission.
So next time you find yourself in one of those loops, try finishing the sentence with… and that’s ok.
Try that and notice how it feels
I'm feeling [blank] … and that’s ok.
He said [blank]... and that’s ok.
I did [blank]... and that’s ok.
I didn't do [blank]... and that’s ok.
Notice what your brain does then.
Send me an email [here] and let me how you felt after giving yourself and others permission to do, think and act freely.
Now, now, I know what you are going to tell me.
“Some things are just not ok, Steph!”
I know… and that's ok.
Of course there are moral and ethical lines not to cross.
Of course we all do things that aren't actually ok.
Of course we should have healthy boundaries and protect those.
But those aren't the times I'm talking about here.
I'm talking about all the little daily incidents that crop up.
The ones we like to hold ourselves accountable for.
Hoping that if we punish ourselves or others enough then we won’t make that mistake again.
Granted, that may work.
Using the STICK is certainly one way to motivate ourselves and others to action.
All I am offering you here is the thought that sometimes we can use a little more of the CARROT.
Try it and let me know how you get on.
How your relationships improve.
And how your inner monologue changes.
Trust me… it will all be ok.
Steph.